How do you feel about growing older? Do you make fun of yourself for growing old, pointing out that your memory is faulty, your body is weaker, or that your aches are inevitable as a common response to growing old? Or do you believe you can accomplish anything you set your heart on until the day you die? My instagram feed has a few aging influencers in their 60s, 70s and 80s that are stronger (and cooler) than those half their age. I follow them with stars in my eyes!

What did your parents or grandparents provide as an example of what aging means? One of my grandmothers worked sewing flags until she turned 74. She really liked her job and she was good at it. She met a friend who taught her to make origami cranes at work and she made a lot of them with her. She knew that if you folded 1000 cranes it would make hard times easier. She sewed every grandchild a handmade quilt in her 70s, learned a new way to make beautiful flower arrangements and stayed active and engaged until her retirement. 

According to Becca Levy, PhD and her deep work and eventual book, Japan celebrates a national holiday called Keiro No Hi, or Respect for the Aged Day. On this day people visit their Aged relatives, the government issues checks for the oldest citizens, and restaurants serve free meals. Here, older people are admired and valued by their family for their wisdom.  Is it any wonder that Japan is home to Blue Zone elders that are among the world’s longest-lived (and vibrant) people? In her study she wrote about Japan’s older population as having the benefit of living without the stigma of having grown older. That menopause is treated off-handedly instead of an evil curse and aged men are looked upon as revered Aging Rock Stars. She suspected that any culture and its appreciation or denigration of older people would severely impact that group’s vitality and longevity. She was right!

In her Yale lab, she could make a difference in 10 minutes using positive age stereotypes to improve a person’s memory, balance, speed and even the will to live. Imagine living your life as if you do not matter as an older person. Now imagine living your life as if you did, and immediately feeling the impact of vibrant health and well-being. This is measurable.

This excerpt from her study of Oxford, Ohio is the crux of her work:

“While analyzing data from my study about the lives and outlooks on the inhabitants of the small town, I found out that the single most important factor in determining the longevity of these inhabitants – more important that gender, income, social background, loneliness or functional health– was how people thought about and approached the idea of old age… Age beliefs can steal or add nearly eight years to your life.”

Maybe we should poke around and find out what our own beliefs about aging is in our heads? Do you have a stereotype that pops up when you think of older people? Is your expectation of growing old positive, or negative? Becca Levy thinks we have a system of beliefs about aging that help us make sense of our world, and that the messages we consume from TV, advertising, movies, jokes, and music hold great power over what we believe and expect from aging.

A quick way to notice this? Track the ways you experience attitudes about aging in the media you consume, the way your family talks about it, in how you talk about it and think about it. I wonder if you will notice that you are not experiencing age positivity. I did this exercise and felt surprised at how often the stereotypical image of older women is accepted (and joked about) in our culture. This negative belief around growing old seems to be a pervasive system of ageism in the United States, though there are people who reject the negativity and grow older with vigor and sharp mental toughness.

Becca Levy found that negative beliefs about aging correlated with higher levels of cortisol (released in moments of stress), higher levels of depression, and higher levels of anxiety. But positive beliefs about aging  have a double benefit for living a long life. In addition to living 7.5 years longer, the higher expectation of growing older + wiser makes it more likely that those later years will be more connected, creative and fulfilling. Overcoming the prejudice of ageism is important for our society as a whole and meaningful for us as aging individuals.

Becca Levy lays out a system for fighting ageism with Awareness, Blame and Challenge

• Awareness: for example, what do you believe about older people? Do you think they are bad drivers, for instance? But older drivers are not texting while driving and have fewer accidents.  Can you boost your awareness and see the overwhelming amount of negative stereotypes? And can you surround yourself with shining examples of Aging Positivity? Seek out some admirable role models who see aging as a natural process that brings ample benefits. Be like them.
• Blame: it’s Ageism, not aging! Don’t blame yourself for growing old if you’re targeted with ageism, it’s actually the result of ageist societal beliefs. It’s more the negative expectations that make growing older feel hard rather than the actual process of aging. Look again for those that are role models for aging positively with humor, style, balance and sharp wits. Be aware of your attitudes and place blame where it belongs.
• Challenge: Fight ageism by confronting it and calling it out. Teach children to not accept ageism and they will thrive when they grow older. Make it a point to call out inappropriate attitudes and behavior, even/especially if it’s inside your own head. This is the way to age with vitality. To make the most of your potential, challenge ageism.

This is the type of work we are cut out for on this website! We can become aware of ageism (and give it some major side-eye), choose to fill our lives with examples of all the late bloomers doing their best work in their later years, and add more than 7 juicy years of happiness to our lives, together.  We need each other to make it happen.  Let’s go.

Link to book Breaking the Age Code