When I was young I lived by the seat of my pants, pushed and pulled by what I had to do for others. I had expectations to meet. I grew up with parents that rewarded excellence and my Marine Drill Sergeant dad had ideas for how I could do things better…

“Polish that table again, you missed a spot!” “Yes, sir!”

“Catch this baseball as I fling it up so high that you lose it in the sunlight!” “Yes, sir!”

My mom had some ideas about what I should be doing too, since she worked nights and I had a baby sister and a baby brother that had their own needs that I would do my best to fulfill. Have you ever heard of the concept of the Oldest Daughter? I’m saving that for its own post, heh. She is legendary and served an important role of keeping her entire family together in harmony and on task. That was me.

Most of us had to live by the rules created by our boss at our job, and if we had a partner or family to depend on us we had to fulfill their needs (because these are the rules I was taught to honor). At my first job after babysitting I was told “if you have time to LEAN you have time to CLEAN!” (oh McD’s why’d you have to go so hard?) If we had children we not only had to keep them ALIVE we also tried to keep them happy and growing well. For me and maybe for you, too, my needs or desires were not at the top of anyone’s list. 

As I grow older I’m looking for ways to add joy and meaning to the second half of my life. What do I want and how can I achieve it? I came across the Japanese concept of Ikigai and used the ideas to make my own map for living. I love a fresh sheet of paper, a good pen and colored pencils and enjoyed my mission to map out a way of making sense of my life. Would you try this? It’s both an art project and a statement about what you find important about your life at the same time. I want to encourage you to take the time to explore ways to find a deep sense of purpose balanced with what brings you happiness.

Side note: the interpretation of Ikigai varies and my interpretation seems to be an Americanized version to add meaning and purpose to life. I will list the book I read below and encourage you to look into the ideas further.

The idea is to make a venn diagram listing important concepts to living a balanced life. The categories that you can use in this exercise can be located in each corner of your sheet of paper:

What do you love?

What can you get paid for?

What are you uniquely skilled at?

What can you offer that is good for the world?

Each of these 4 concepts are meant to balance out the ways of living. There are those that bring you joy, those that could earn you money, those that you are talented at doing, and those that are useful or good for others.

Draw a circle around each of the 4 concepts and make sure the circle for each is drawn to the center of your paper. In the very center of the page, in the sweet spot where each of the 4 concepts circle overlaps, is your Ikigai. Your Ikigai changes over time as you grow but for now offers you a worthy goal of balancing your wants and needs with what the world wants and needs. There is said to be an additional focus in the concept of what you are uniquely skilled at that places extra importance on mastery, process and immersion in that skill. I know an attempt at mastery, honoring the process and seeking immersion puts me into a state of flow; that focused feeling of losing all sense of time and space. It’s a great feeling to chase.

Why define your Ikigai? Because it has been found to add years to your life. The National Institute for Aging found correlation between being able to define your life’s meaning adding years to your life expectancy in 2014. This led to a larger study conducted by the Journal of the American Medical Association that linked a strong sense of purpose with a lower risk of mortality after age 50 in a study with 7,000 adults. A strong sense of purpose was associated with increased health and longevity.

Once you have identified your Ikigai, what steps do you need to take to live it? According to the book, you don’t choose your path, rather you uncover it. Take some quiet time to investigate your ikigai for uncovering the most meaningful result.

These are additional rules of Ikigai to add longevity and happiness to your life, according to the book:

• Stay active, keep learning and growing
• Take life slowly to reduce stress and add mindfulness
• Fill your stomach to 80% full at your meals, eat nutrient-dense food
• Surround yourself with good friends for support and fun
• Move your body and keep it moving; exercise releases hormones that make you happy
• Smile and celebrate your life
• Reconnect with nature to recharge
• Give thanks and be grateful
• Live in the moment, release your regrets for the past and fears for the future
• Follow your Ikigai, it’s your mission to discover it and live it

Buy the Book Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life By Hector Garcia and Franscec Miralles