Stone Age humans lived from two million years ago until 3300 BC had surprising shared lifestyle habits with todays’ modern human. There is evidence that our ancient ancestors:

• Cured meat for traveling
• Played music on instruments, created art and danced
• Kept their homes clean and spent time together on the roof of their homes
• Early Neolithic women were strong and muscular, sharing in hunting and gathering
• Homes were passed down to generations for as many as 1000 years
• Camping was for hunting and recreation
• Adapted to climate change 11,0000 years ago
• Grew grain, harvested it, ground it into flour and made bread 14,500 years ago
• Were buried with their pet dogs (they loved their dogs?!)

Hah, same, stone age ancestors, same for us!

But here is where our fight or flight response kicked in, back in the Stone Age…

Large apex predators wanted to eat us and our survival heavily depended on being part of a close-knit tribe. We needed to divide the labor required to survive harsh conditions. In the event of breaking our tribal rules and facing banishment, we had to face the possibility of death in the face of daily danger.

The predator’s that would make our heart race and central nervous system enter “fight or flight” at every snap of a branch in the trees were large and hungry and included:

• Cave bears
• Cave lions
• Sabor-tooth cats (tigers)
• Wooly mammoths
• Kangaroos
• Leopards
• Crocodiles
• Komodo dragons
• Sharks
• Snakes

Most of these meat-eating predators were much larger back in history and put humans on their short list for a delicious meal.

Egads, no wonder we go into “fight or flight” so easily!

This mode of survival required us to be skeptical and cautious, with our brain’s thinking process skewing towards the negative. In order to keep us safe, our brain made us value thinking of the worst case scenario, always asking, “what is the worst possible outcome?” and planning around that negative point of view.

It’s not our fault, it was just a way to increase our odds of surviving another day.

It even made us value the opinion of our fellow humans, our tribe that we had to belong to in order to survive. Being valued and valuable in the eyes of your tribe could mean a difference of life or death.

Zoom forward to the modern day world and ask yourself, are you immersed in the negative thoughts that are a default setting of your brain?

Do you care (very, very much) if people in your circle think you are admirable and good?

Is your nervous system primed to have you run at the slightest hint of danger?

For most of us living in this modern-day world, the answer would be YES. We are in fight or flight mode, often. You care what other people think of you. Of course you do, it is how successful humans evolved and survived. You are generally primed to scoot away at signs of danger.

But now that you have grown older and wiser, there is another path forward. You may already have noticed that you care far less what your tribespeople think about you. Maybe as we have already been through life’s ups and downs we grow more sure of our ability to survive. We have seen hardship. We have felt the turmoil and stared it down and emerged stronger and more confidant. We are not as reliant on being of value and and service to anyone else. We have grown more resilient with age and experience.

It makes sense that our brain kept us safe by skewing negative. Likely being afraid and ready to run saved our pre-historic lives and the brain was rewarded for this way of thinking.

But now, when we are less likely to be eaten alive, how can we free our brain from negative patterns and become less anxious and more positive?

Here are some techniques to try:

• Practice gratitude everyday with a journal entry or telling your partner (everyday) what you are grateful for. This trains your brain to see the positive. The more positivity you notice, the more your brain will find. We have brains open to reprogramming and giving your brain a chance to find the positive will open up more positivity
• Give yourself affirmations in the mirror (everyday) while you brush your teeth. It might make you feel uncomfortable at first but bear with me… it works to give yourself the love and respect we crave from the day we are born. We deserve to be loved for who we are and offering that love to yourself is the way to finding more positivity, less self-criticism
• Find a community within your community and join it. Could be a bike riding group, a book club, a bowling league, a library lecture series. Whatever it is that you are curious about or interested in can be a gateway to making new connections with people who share your enthusiasm. Meeting new people and finding ways to share joy brightens your brain and de-emphasizes the negative
• Use your resources to give back to your community. You got where you are today with the help of many people. Now use your power and resources to give your help and support. Could mean finding a regular gig volunteering at school, or funding and providing the labor for building a new park playground in your neighborhood. Or keep it simple and surprise your new neighbors with a welcome cake. Maybe another neighbor needs help pulling the garbage cans out on trash pick up day? Doing good for others will lift your spirits and keep you finding more and more things to love about being alive in this world

How is your frame of mind?

Do you find yourself ready to run when confronted with stress?

What are your techniques for relieving stress?

Just hit “reply” and tell me, I would love to hear from you.